To: the old normal
From: the new normal
I write to you during this pandemic from my couch, a cold cup of coffee staring back at me, loud clammers from the kitchen, and a sleepy pup laying beside me. This is life now.
I wrestle in the mornings with the yearning to leave the house, however not without my mask and gloves. How will that ever be normal? There's a war raging against the minds of the world. The evil one has sworn in his best soldiers, but The Almighty has the upper hand.
I flip on the news to catch a glimpse of what the outside world might look like. The news overflows with a questionable economy, with a rare glimpse of positivity. Plus, an election year to boot.
The smallest things have become the reason I wake up in the mornings. The alarm clock has long been silenced and the thought of new mercies meet me when my feet hit the ground. The routine pushes its way in and fights with all its might to entice the sliver of hopelessness to show its face. However,I know where my hope lies. Not to mention, the first cup of coffee give me just kick of motivation that I need, the next cup brings excitement and energy. The coffee is strong, the days are way too long, but this battle isn’t over.
The list of to-do’s this week is dwindling, so out to the backyard we go. It's a safe haven, you know. In this place the battle raging outside seems non-existent, the box fan in humming, and the sun is beaming. Tan lines and finished books have become the mission of the afternoon. The rain storms hit occasionally, which as you know, I find a peace of mind in the sound of big drops of rain washing this round world off.
As the rain droplets begin to wipe off the earth, hunger strikes! It’s a shame knowing that just a few short miles (so it seems) there is a Chic fil la number 5 calling my name. But, stumbling to the well stocked pantry not far from the safe haven will have to suffice. The ringing of “we have plenty to eat at home” plays in my mind as if I was 5 years old in the backseat begging mom and dad to just pull through and get this over dramatic girl some nuggets. Still reeling in the past of when I'm the star of the cooking show, I decide to whip up some lunch. Followed by the treacherous events of unloading the dishwasher fast enough that mom doesn’t realize I forgot to do it earlier begins. ;)
Now that the chores have been accomplished my heart sinks, it's mid afternoon and it's becoming difficult to keep still. My heart is stirring for a sense of community, my brain can’t turn down the volume of the gut wrenching thought “what comes next”, and finally I choose to fight. In a matter of minutes I’m on my bed, the Lord’s word open, and my heart open to healing.
A lot has been lost during this battle, the love language of physical touch has thrown completely out the window. However, quality time with my family has been a gift. I'm still spinning how life can change, literally, over night.
But, that's not all. So much has been lost here, it's an overwhelming sense of sinking and nowhere to grab on. Right? Oh, but wait. I have something I want to tell you before I seal this up.
The Lord is so faithful, my friend. In the weakest hours He provides strength, comfort, and even community.
I recently took a trek to Tyler, TX to learn about what I will be doing for the second half of this never ending summer. Friend, He wrecked me. My heart was fully embraced, my soul was filled, and my lack of community is no longer. I wanted to stay, the thought of driving back bummed me out. But He knew what he was doing in that short 7 days at Pine Cove Towers.
The Almighty knew that giving me a preview of His Kingdom by the worship sessions, barn work, and the mid afternoon projects would oomph me back into a head space of optimism.
I’m convinced I was a true witness to what we have to look forward to in the coming days of eternity at this little camp tucked behind in the pines. There was a sense of community like none other. (besides my wonderful church family) You were seen, valued, and accepted.
Friend, our Heavenly Father sees you in this way every. single. day. Talk about good knews! Man, I needed that refresher.
So, as I wrap up, I just want to say I love you and I miss you. Next time I see you I can’t wait to squeeze you. I encourage you to lean into our Savior during this crazy battle of life!
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” -Romans 15:13
Xoxo, A