All I want is to be wanted. I never ask for anything in return, just let me help you. The infamous enneagram, known world wide. You are a number, did you know that? I know what you’re thinking; “oh here we go, put me in my box”. Actually, this enneagram thing is more freedom than restraint, so hear me out. There are nine types on the diagram, each one has its unique features that make up each type. I, for one, am a two or The Helper, I see the world around me as projects and I want to fix them. Constantly seeing the good in people, pouring into others instead of myself, and exhausting myself by trying to make sure everyone around me is satisfied, are just a few things on my todo list. Furthermore, let me take you on a walk through life as I see it, being a ‘type two’ or more commonly known ‘The Helper’.
Can you see it? It’s everywhere. The world through my eyes is constantly yellow. In the mornings it’s a crisp bright yellow, the afternoons are made up of a deeper sunflower yellow, and the evenings it’s almost burned into orange. Why yellow? Yellow is known to be associated with the emotions of happiness and joy, a vast majority of Helpers embrace those qualities, including myself. Not only do I personally embody happiness, but pouring into others so that they can feel the yellow inwardly is something I strive for daily. Another quality of Helpers is friendliness. I can say with with no doubt in my mind I have never met a stranger. Some people look at it as a curse to be known by everyone, but knowing others helps me get to know their story and in turn be able to serve in their lives as needed. Nevertheless, these qualities don’t always stick around. Some days I feel as though I can stay in my room with a book all day and not touch the outside world. This is where exhaustion peeks its head out of the closet. People say it takes time to learn all of the strengths and weaknesses of a type two personality, as for me, it only took a few weeks.
“Learn when to say no”, is a phrase I have heard since I was the little kid with popsicle stained cheeks. The phrase “no” sometimes instantly has a negative connotation. But growing as a Helper, that two letter word can be a positive incentive in my daily life. Being a healthy two on the enneagram I have come to understand my boundaries, in the sense that, not everyone can be fixed. Also, being confident in knowing that people will stick around once I’ve helped them get on their feet is something that is a constant challenge. Twos need to feel needed in a way that others come to them for everything, that is how they are secure in knowing they are loved.
Love fast and love hard, whether that is the stranger on the cross walk on a cold night or the person that causes your eyes to gaze a little longer than they should. For me, as well as any Helper, there is no middle ground when it comes knowing how much energy and effort to put into other humans. Typically, others are drawn to me because “Twos accept you just the way you are; they aren’t judgmental, and they create space both physically and emotionally in which people can speak from their heart and experience” (117 Cron & Stable). It isn’t a part of my thought process to judge others for being themselves, I have always been intrigued by what makes up other people’s lives and the way their story unfolds. This trait of a two can be extraordinarily difficult to maneuver through life, because there is a tendency of coming across as nosey. However, being involved in others’ lives and seeing how I can be a source of light, is how I love.
I have been described as “a mighty force with a gentle kiss”, meaning when upon meeting me I come across as one who is very abrupt but also relaxing and mindful. That phrase is a perfect description of those who embody characteristics of a The Helper. Throughout life two’s see the color yellow in just about everything they come in contact with. Although, it is a constant struggle when deciphering when to say no and when to be committed. However, a benefit of being friends with someone like me, you never question if you are loved or not.
xoxo, A